This past week I saw Barbie and Oppenheimer, unfortunately, not on the same trip to the movie theater. I didn’t have the time over the weekend to spend about five or six hours in the movie theater for back-to-back showings. So, I settled for 24 hours between each movie. I saw Barbie first on Wednesday, then Oppenheimer Thursday, which was the better order for me as I still need time to process Oppenheimer before seeing anything else. But with the double-feature craze both movies inspired, I have been thinking about both Barbie and the atomic bomb as moments that changed the culture.
First and foremost, Oppenheimer is about large-scale shifts in global politics. It goes without saying that the atomic bomb was monumental and one of the most influential inventions of modern history. But what stuck with me about Christopher Nolan’s movie and the time was the anxiety over the future and all the choices scientists, politicians, and people made to create and deploy the bomb. All the characters know that their individual choices affect more than just themselves. They struggle to manage the decisions they control versus those situations where they are powerless.Â
Especially physicist Oppenheimer, he constantly attempts to manage others’ perceptions of his ideas, work, and identity. On the screen, this looked like Oppenheimer worrying about how his calculations and research would be used in ways that would go against his ethics and beliefs. This struggle intensifies as he is questioned over his past political affiliations. Nolan beautifully depicts this anxiety by blending narrative flashbacks with PTSD flashbacks Oppenheimer experiences when reflecting on the impacts of his scientific explorations.
I also felt anxious watching Barbie. While purposely overstated, the intro to Greta Gerwig’s film does make a valid point. Unlike other dolls girls played with in the early 20th century, Barbie stressed the social and worldly activities she could do versus homemaking. Girls could fantasize about what they could do versus how they would serve others. However, in the movie, Barbie must contend with whether this intention impacted the world as she imagined. In this emotional arc, Barbie learns to focus less on how she is perceived and more on herself to save Barbieland. The irony wasn’t lost on me that a doll that promotes focusing on yourself versus others also felt overwhelmed by everything outside her control.
Lately, I have been reflecting a lot about shifting my focus to my work, development, and ambitions. In grad school, I often worried about how my words and ideas could be taken out of context and applied in ways I didn’t want. I worried more about making my words clear to others versus making the story true to myself.
Writing or creating for others’ understanding puts undue stress on the artist to overexplain themselves versus imagine. This anxiety often shows on the page or canvas. Personally, it shows as internalizing conflict versus shaping a narrative and expanding on my ideas. At the Hurston/Wright writer’s retreat last summer, my workshop very lovingly called me out for this. Writing about a conflict I experienced at a party, I focused more on talking down to myself versus shaping a narrative I cared about.
Seeing two movies reflecting on earlier centuries in American history and exploring anxiety as a central emotion had me thinking about how fear works in society. Capitalism benefits when we are negatively focused on what is lacking in ourselves and others and how others perceive these supposed deficiencies. It’s easier to justify greed and individualism when operating from this stance. But freedom from those destructive forces means acknowledging what I can control and letting go of everything else. On the page, this looks like defining a story for myself before trying to shape that idea for an audience. In society, this means working out your ethics and beliefs with a community aligned with those ideals.
Random Thoughts
📚 I finally finished In the Dream House and started Yellowface and Brown Girls.
🎼 I’ve been deep diving into Sinéad O’Connor’s music since she died, learning about her music, and so far, I’m enjoying what I’m hearing.
🎥 I watched M3gan with my family recently, and honestly, it was more funny than scary.